How to Help Your Child Feel Brave at the Doctor

For a little child, the doctor's office can feel like a strange place. There are new faces, cold tools, bright lights and sometimes a shot. It makes sense that some kids cry, hide behind a parent or say "I don't want to go!" The good news is that a little bit of getting ready at home can make a big difference.

This guide shows you what to do before, during and after a visit to help your child feel safe and brave. It also shares a few Leigha Marina songs that show Bebo and the penguin family going to the doctor, so your child knows what to expect.

Before the Visit: Get Ready at Home

Tell them, but not too early

Little kids don't need weeks to worry about a visit. Nationwide Children's Hospital says to tell a toddler no more than one day before. Older preschool kids may do better with a few days' notice, so they have time to ask questions.

Use simple words

Talk about what they will see, hear and feel. "The doctor will listen to your heart with a special tool. It might feel a little cold." Try not to use scary words. Let your child know that all kids go to the doctor, even when they are healthy, and that grown ups go too. The doctor's job is to help us stay strong and feel better.

Play pretend doctor

Kids learn best through play. Get a toy doctor kit, or use things around the house, and take turns being the doctor. Check a teddy bear's heartbeat. Look in its ears. Give it a pretend band aid. Both KidsHealth and HealthLinkBC suggest pretend play like this, so the real visit feels familiar.

Sing about it

Songs are another easy way to show kids what happens at the doctor. These two are great to play in the days before a visit:

Doctor Song: A little penguin feels sick, so Mommy calls the doctor. The doctor sings "Don't you worry, I'm here to help you." He listens to the heart with a stethoscope, asks him to open his mouth and stick out his tongue, and has him cough. At the end, the little one gets a lollipop for being brave. This song shows a normal checkup, step by step, in a calm and friendly way.

Going To The Doctor: This song explains why we go to the doctor. Sometimes we feel sick and we don't know why. The doctor checks our heartbeat, our hands and our feet. It even talks about shots in an honest way: "Sometimes I may need to get an injection to make myself feel a lot better." Kids hear that a shot is quick and that it helps them get well.

Try this: Play Doctor Song while you do pretend doctor with a stuffed animal. Do each step the song sings about.

Plan the day

If you can, book the visit for a time when your child is not tired or hungry. Mornings or right after a nap are often best. Pack a favorite stuffie, blanket or small toy to hold.

During the Visit: Stay Close and Calm

• Hold them on your lap. Many doctors will let your child sit on your lap for the exam or for shots. Being close to you helps them feel safe.
• Stay calm yourself. Kids watch your face. If you are relaxed, they will feel more relaxed too.
• Bring a distraction. Sing a song together, read a book, blow bubbles or play a game on a small toy. A song they know well is easy to sing even in a new place.
• Let them help. Preschoolers can hold the band aid or open the wrapper. Having a job makes them feel in control.
• Ask the doctor to show them first. Many doctors are happy to listen to a teddy bear's heart before they listen to your child's.

Be Honest About Shots

It is tempting to say "It won't hurt" or "You won't get a shot today." But if that turns out not to be true, your child will trust you less next time. It's better to be honest in a gentle way. HealthLinkBC shares a good example: "The nurse is going to give you an immunization in the arm. It will sting for a minute, but I'll hold you on my lap the whole time."

Also, try never to say things like "If you're not good, the doctor will give you a shot." This makes kids think a shot is a punishment. Shots are there to keep us healthy.

For babies, we have more tips in our post on how to comfort your baby during shots.

After the Visit: Celebrate Being Brave

Being brave doesn't mean not crying. A child who cried the whole time and still let the doctor check them was very brave. Tell them so. Be specific: "You held so still when the doctor looked in your ears!"

If they got a shot or a small scrape, these two songs are nice for the ride home:

Band-Aids Hugs and Kisses: A little penguin gets a scratch while playing in the snow. His mom, grandpa and friends help him feel better with band aids, hugs and kisses. The song says "Oh you can cry, that's just alright, and when you are ready go back." It tells kids that crying is okay and the ouch will not last forever.

The Boo Boo Song: Tripping over toys, falling off a bike, slipping by the pool. Boo boos happen. This silly song says "Don't be scared, cause it will pass, with a band aid and a hug." At the end, everyone waves "bye bye, boo boo!" Kids love that part.

Try this: Let your child put a band aid on their teddy bear when you get home. Now the bear is brave too.

You can find these and many more kids videos with songs about healthy habits on our music page.

Questions Parents Ask

How do I explain a checkup to my toddler?

Keep it short and simple. Say "We are going to see the doctor so she can check that your body is healthy and strong. She will look in your ears and listen to your heart." Then play pretend doctor or watch Doctor Song together.

Should I tell my child they are getting a shot?

Yes, but keep it simple and calm. Tell them it will pinch or sting for a moment, and that you will be right there holding them. Being honest helps your child trust you.

What if my child screams and fights at the doctor?

That is normal for many young kids, and doctors see it every day. Stay calm, hold your child close and speak softly. Afterward, praise them for getting through it. Each visit usually gets a little easier.

Is it okay to give a treat after the doctor?

A small treat or a fun activity after the visit is fine. Just try to call it a celebration for being brave, not a bribe to behave. Hugs and praise matter most.

If you are not sure when your child needs to see a doctor, read our post on when to call a doctor.

This post is for general information only. It is not medical advice. If you have questions about your child's health, please talk to your child's doctor.