Toddlers Biting: Why It Happens and How to Stop It

Did you just get a call from daycare saying your toddler bit another child? Or maybe your little one was the one who got bitten. Either way, it can be upsetting. The good news is that biting is very common in young children, and there is a lot you can do to help it stop.

The American Psychological Association says studies show that between one third and one half of all toddlers in daycare are bitten by another child. It also says biting is a normal behavior in children under 3, even though it is not OK.

Why do toddlers bite?

Toddlers have big feelings but not many words yet. KidsHealth says biting happens most often between the first and second birthday, and it is slightly more common in boys. As language gets better, biting tends to happen less.

Common reasons toddlers bite:

• Teething. Biting can bring relief to sore gums.
• Exploring. Babies and toddlers learn about the world with their mouths.
• Seeing what happens. Toddlers may bite just to see the reaction they get.
• Frustration, anger or fear. They can't say "I don't like that!" so they bite instead.
• Wanting attention. Biting can be a way of saying "Pay attention to me!"
• Wanting a toy. Some toddlers learn that biting helps them get what they want.
• Feeling tired, hungry or overwhelmed, or needing more active playtime. Cleveland Clinic lists all of these as reasons.

Many toddlers don't understand yet that biting hurts. That is why teaching, not punishment, works best.

What to do when your child bites

KidsHealth suggests these steps:

1. Stay calm and firm. Say something short and clear like "No biting! Biting hurts." Don't give a long talk. Your toddler won't understand it yet.
2. Take care of the child who was bitten first. Cleveland Clinic says this also teaches the biter that biting doesn't get attention. Check for broken skin and wash the area with soap and water.
3. Comfort the biter if needed. Some toddlers feel upset when they see they hurt someone. It's OK to comfort them. But if your child bites to get attention, don't give extra attention right after.
4. Teach other words. Show your child how to say "No," "Stop" or "That's mine." Show them how to hold out a hand and say "please" to ask for a toy.
5. Redirect. Move on to something fun and calm, like dancing to music, coloring or a game.

The APA says older toddlers may also help comfort the child they bit. This can help teach kindness, but only if both children are OK with it and an adult is there.

If biting keeps happening, KidsHealth says a short time out can help. A good guide is about 1 minute per year of age. Your child should be calm before they leave the time out spot.

What not to do

• Never bite your child back. KidsHealth says hitting or biting a child who bites teaches them that this behavior is OK.
• Don't laugh or play bite. Cleveland Clinic warns that "love bites" from grandpa or play biting from a babysitter can send the wrong message. Make sure everyone who cares for your child handles biting the same way.
• Don't call your child a "biter." Zero to Three says this label can make the behavior worse and become part of how your child sees themselves.
• Don't say "We don't bite our friends." Cleveland Clinic says this might make your child think it's OK to bite people who aren't friends. Just say "We don't bite."

How to prevent biting

• Look for triggers. Does it happen during tantrums, when your child is tired or hungry, or with the same child? Knowing the pattern helps you stop the next bite.
• Stay close during play, especially when your child is tired or in a group.
• Offer teething toys if your little one is getting new teeth.
• Help with sharing. Zero to Three suggests using a timer for turns, or having more than one of the favorite toys.
• Name feelings. Say "You look mad" and show what to do instead, like asking a grown up for help or taking a deep breath.
• Read books about biting during a calm time. Zero to Three suggests books like Teeth Are Not for Biting.
• Praise gentle play. Notice when your child is kind and tell them.
• Spend one on one time playing or reading together.

Biting at daycare

If your child bites at daycare, talk with the teachers. Zero to Three suggests asking what happened right before the bite, who your child was playing with, and how the staff responded. Work together so your child hears the same message at home and at daycare. If your child was bitten, it's normal to feel upset. The APA says parents of the bitten child need to know that the biting is being taken seriously.

First aid for a bite

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) says many toddler bites are safe because they don't break the skin. If a bite does happen:

• Wash the bite with soap and water for 5 minutes.
• If it bleeds, press on it with a clean cloth for 10 minutes or until it stops.
• See a doctor right away if a human bite breaks the skin. Human bites are more likely to get infected than animal bites.
• Call the doctor if the bite gets red, has red streaks or pus, or if your child gets a fever.

When to get help

KidsHealth says biting should stop by about age 3 or 4. The APA says to get help from a professional if a child keeps biting others after age 3. Talk to your child's doctor if biting happens a lot, gets worse, or doesn't get better with the tips above. For more warning signs, read our post on when to call a doctor.

Songs about being kind

Cleveland Clinic says books, songs and videos can help with biting. Our song Be Kind To All shows four little penguins who can't agree on how to build an igloo, until Bebo reminds them to be kind and listen to each other. The Sharing Song teaches that "sharing will help everyone to get along," which is great for toddlers who bite over toys. And in the Teamwork Song, Bebo learns, "Don't be afraid to ask for help today." You can find more kids music on our music page.

Biting often comes with big feelings. Read our post on toddler tantrums for more tips. If your baby bites because of sore gums, see our teething baby guide.

Questions Parents Ask About Biting

Is it normal for toddlers to bite?

Yes. The APA says biting is a normal behavior in children under 3. KidsHealth says it happens most often between ages 1 and 2.

When do toddlers stop biting?

Most children stop biting by about age 3 or 4, as they learn more words to show how they feel.

What should I say when my toddler bites?

Keep it short and calm. Say "No biting. Biting hurts." Then take care of the child who was bitten.

Should I bite my child back so they know how it feels?

No. KidsHealth says this teaches your child that biting is OK.

My toddler bites when teething. What can help?

Give your child safe teething toys to chew on, and read our teething guide for more ideas.

Does a toddler bite need a doctor?

Most toddler bites don't break the skin. Wash it with soap and water. The AAP says to see a doctor right away if a human bite breaks the skin.

When should I worry about biting?

Get help if your child keeps biting after age 3, bites often, or if the biting gets worse.

This post is for general information only. It is not medical advice. If you have questions about your child's health, please talk to your child's doctor.